The boys rooms!

The wooden letters were a christmas gift from uncle josh and aunt bob and baby jakson!

I had to move jr's toy holder into coltons room and had to get jr a new one bc we have sooo many toys and sooo little room!

thankyou uncle josh auntbob and baby jakson!

jrs new toy holder!

Just a glimps into the boys rooms! I love their rooms and so do they! They have so much fun playing in their rooms with all of thier new and old toys! I have tried to move all of the toys upstairs so that I can have my living room back but that has not happened and I dont think it will ever happen. Its fine bc I just let my house go during the day and then at the end of the day before bedtime we pick up all the toys. Jr is a great helper and we are working on colton, he just loves to throw everything around and he is so cute about it so i let him! ha!

Haiti Earthquake...

For the past few hours I have been trying to find out the status and location of our little boy Diego who we sponsor through Compassion International. He is 3 yrs old and will be 4 on Jan 18th! We only recieve letters back and forth from him and his family but oh how he has a special place in our family and our hearts! We pray for him every night just as we pray for our own children! We love him and pray that he is okay! I will keep posting as I know more! Please be in prayer with me for Diego and the countless others who were there in it all! God is good! Diego's picture is up on our fridge and everytime I pass it I cry and I dont know why...I just pray that he is okay. We have hoped to one day be able to go down there and meet him!

Monster Truck Jam!!!

AJ had brought these bc he thought it would be loud. Jr just had to borrow them and then he wouldnt take them off! ha!

Matthews mom got us a suite from the lawfirm she used to work at. It was awsome and perfect when having kidsso they dont have to be still in a seat all night!

Signing one of the cars they would later crush!

We got pit passes so we got to go down before it started to see all the trucks and meet drivers!

Saturday night we went out to the Monster Truck Jam! It was awsome! We took and Jr and my parents took AJ, and we had some friends come too! We left Colton at home bc it was going to be a late night but he will definatly go next year! I cant wait!

Why I havent blogged in a while...

It was 5 weeks ago today that I lost my baby. I was 11 weeks pregnant and I basically just went into labor and we lost our sweet baby. I had gone to th ER Sunday night due to bleeding and they did an ultrasound and everything looked great. My baby was fine and I was SOOOO VERY HAPPY. They told me to take it easy for a few days so the next day I stayed at my parents house with my sister and she helped me take care of the boys. I was still bleeding but it had slowed down a lot. Then that evening I began having awful cramps. They were contractions and it lasted for about an hour and then my water broke. And from there I had an awful pain that would not go away. I will spare you all the details but we finally made it to the ER. I had been in labor with Jr for a few hours and the pain I felt this night was so much worse with an outcome that was so heartbreaking for me. I finally got some morphine in me and the pain went away. They did an ultrasound and it was confirmed that we had lost the baby. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to endure in my whole life. I lost my sweet baby. I will never get to hold her, hear her cry, dress her up, play with her, see Jr and Colton be big brothers to her.
A lot of you are probably saying how do you know it was a daughter you had. Great question with a God story to go along with it. The Friday after I was having an awful day. I was begging God to give me my child back knowing full and well that that was not going to happen physically. So I prayed for him to show me if Matthew and I had a son or a daughter in Heaven with Him. Either way we were going to name our baby Bentley just spelled differantly for either. It would be Bentlee for a boy and Bentleigh for a girl. So the next day we were going to some friends house in the Dallas area. We were early so we drove past their house to go look at what all was up there that way. On the way back I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. It was a neighborhood sign that read " Bentleigh Station" and I was so happy. God was showing me that I had a daughter with him. I called my mom and told her and we cried together. Then I told her well maybe it was just chance. Well, I got an email from her later that told me about her devotion for that day. After I had talked to my mom she went and read her devotion. It read that all to often we think of things as chance and we dont take the time to have the faith and realize that God is all around us speaking to us in differant ways. So I truly believe that us being early and going out of the way and seeing that sign was Gods way of telling me that we have a daughter in heaven with him. Waiting on us! I also have a friend of mine who I told this story too and she was having a hard time believing that it was God showing me this. She said she went to bed that night just crying out to God to be real to her. The next morning she went and pulled out her devotion and the title was " Every Child Has A Name". WOW!!! thats all I have to say about that one! God is amazing in the ways he works!
After that happened it made this all a little easier for me! I am so happy that my child is in the arms of our creator. How amazing is that. She has a perfect little body in the arms of the one who made her beautiful! God is so good. Now, I am not going to lie, I miss her terribly and there is not a day that goes by that I dont think about her and what could have been. But I rest in the fact that I will see her soon and what an amazing time that will be!!! Going through this has truly made me see things in a differant light. I have 2 wonderful and healthy baby boys who I love so much. There are some people who cant even have a child and now I have just a taste of what that feels like. All of you are in my prayers daily for the child you will have one day. I know Gods timing is perfect and when he wants Matthew and I to have another child we will but that is up to Him and not us. Thank God for his plan because without it we would be a mess!
Thank you all for listening to me. It feels so good to get thing out. And this is my blog so I guess I can do that. HA! Hopefully I will get back into the blogging world now that things have settled down and Christmas and new years have passed.